


grief and regrets, for a future that could've been.

by writtenwxrks



Series: Self-Care before Endgame [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, Ficlet, Gen, Infinity War Aftermath, Pepper Potts (mentioned) - Freeform, Peter Parker (mentioned) - Freeform, tony's sad, where tony is sad, whump??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 00:31:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18325064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writtenwxrks/pseuds/writtenwxrks
Summary: In which Tony recalls the moments he's had with his tiny family before they were taken away from him.





	grief and regrets, for a future that could've been.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Svn_f1ower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Svn_f1ower/gifts).



> @agib,,,, thank you so much for being an inspiration for me to write aaaaaa! <333

Tony Stark knows when to feel and when to act numb to the world.

Most of the time, whenever he’s with people he thinks don’t deserve any of his time, especially those annoying ass paparazzi who always knew where he went, he always acts numb, doesn’t give a shit, sticking to his label being a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, doesn’t care about anything. But every single time he’s with the apple of his eye, the love of his life – Pepper Potts, all sorts of giddy feelings would rush into his heart and mind, throwing his so called ‘title’ to the curb.

So when he met this annoying kid who wants to always get into situations only idiotic people can get to, he allows himself to feel again. He loves and cherishes hi-the kid only a father (father-figure?) would give. Knowing that the kid’s lost two of his fathers in his life while only being so young, Tony thinks that he’ll take this chance. Knowing how shit of a father Howard had been to him, he only wishes that he inherited the love Maria Stark had given him. He’s trying to break the chain, he tells hi-the kid.

Months pass by and Tony still couldn’t believe how close they’ve gotten, but it also feels like a part of him had been complete when this curly-haired boy entered his life. They spend endless nights in his lab, tinkering and arguing about whatever topic they could talk about. Eating take-out and getting scolded by Pepper – still the love of his life, about getting Peter to get healthier food.

Tony spoils the kid, even if his embarrassed face denies the simple joy of getting whatever he wanted. _Kid, it won’t even make a tiny dent on my savings._ He said. He doesn’t regret it, especially now that everyone is...

 _Gone. Dusted. Died in the “Decimation”._ His brain unhelpfully suggests.

It was their first actual hug. He regrets not giving the kid any hugs before this entire shitshow happened.

_Children are supposed to bury their fathers, but there’s nothing left for Tony to even bury._

_I don’t wanna go, Mister Stark, please!_ He regrets not saying anything as he held the kid he already viewed as a son, he regrets not doing anything as to shed a tear as the kid’s entire body just disappeared and turned to ashes.

_And if you died, I feel like that’s on me._

So he cries and wails all of the pain he has experienced in an alien planet until the robot lady, Nebula, was it? Drags him into the ship of the other Peter, the one who threatened to kill the kid before the fight even started.

Robot lady tells him that the resources on the ship won’t last very long and won’t even last until they get back to Earth. He looks outside, seeing nothing but vast space all around him. _I was once scared of them,_ He thought, thinking of New York. Now, he’s nothing but a man consumed by his own grief, his regrets, and his fears for what was going to happen.

He also recorded a message in his broken helmet in case Pepper – the love of his life _if she survived_ were to find the remains of this ship.

And so he builds, and builds, and builds, adapting the situation to fit him, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to avenge the half of the entire universe.

_Whatever it takes._

**Author's Note:**

> I have a tumblr (come yell with me about av:eg):
> 
> https://writtenwxrks.tumblr.com
> 
> agib-2002's tumblr:
> 
> https://agib-2002.tumblr.com


End file.
